Random Thought

Hello 2019~

It’s the moment of the year again, when I need to wave good bye to my past and welcome the whole New Year regardless if I longed for it, or not.

So let me do some recap on my wishes for 2018 and see how’s the result.

  • I hope I can spare more time with my irritating Kpo Kia
    Well, for the 1st half of the year, I failed at this badly, I even locked her out of the room so I can focus on clearing the stuff I need to do. Thanks goddess I managed to spent more time with her at the 2nd half of the year.
  • I hope I can learn something different, and master it
    Seriously, I didn’t learn much this year, haha, except maybe to accept things better when they come to me. I did manage to take up a professional course although I know I will not be able to apply it to my work. Alas, it’s always good to pick up new knowledge. 
  • I hope I can find back my driving licence, and find back my courage to drive
    I didn’t find my back driving licence, and I didn’t have the courage to drive LOL
  • I would love to slim down a bit, or at least go back to my ‘healthier diet’ before I got pregnant
    Nope it’s not working, even after buying some fats control pills from my friends… I guess I am not determined enough
  • I would love to do more custom craft, although I still wondering who accept hand-made craft these days
    Nope I wasn’t doing much craft, I am too lazy and too unmotivated to do anything

So what had happened to me in 2018?

  • I finally moved my blog out from blogger but I have yet to patch up all the 1000 things I wanted to fix for my blog.
  • I finally changed a new job, for better or for worse, I guess it’s too early to tell, but I did gain exposure to new things and I am glad that I was well trained to ‘suck it up and keep moving on’ over the years.
  • I was saddened when told about the lost of Kiki – my best companion in New Zealand when I was on a job hunt. Surprisingly I was totally not annoyed by her saliva in my pair of room slippers every morning, I probably even feel grateful she did not find them smelly. There are a lot of things I can’t tell my friends then but is able to confide to her without worries. Although I doubt she really understands about all the ‘human problem’, I am grateful for her presence. Pity I am unable to see her again anymore.
  • Her passing away makes me thinks a lot about death. I was wondering if one day my mum passed away, who will she feel most worried about. I actually know the answer, but I am not sure if the person realised it. I also pretty worried about him/her, fearing that in the event of the loss of my parents, will him/her feel too guilty to accept it, and how he/she will be able to cope with it. Pity is no matter how much I try to hint to this family member, he/she just refused to face the reality… this in turns reminds me of a comics from one of my favorite artists, he has a series of ‘We all are sick’ comics, yes, we are are (mentally) sick in a way.
  • Just as I feel console that Kpo Kia is quite obedient compare to some kids along with her age, she had been behaving very defiant in the last few weeks of December. She especially wanted to challenge me and keep insisting to consume unhealthy diet as allowed by the elderly, making me very worried, as the age of patients for a lot of illness, including Diabetes, are getting younger. As a mother, I would want her to be as healthy as possible. She will not have siblings who can take care of her in the event if Kpo Kia papa and I are not around her.

As usual, let me think of some resolutions to set for coming 2019:

  • Need to do more activities with Kpo Kia – she is turning to 4 in few months time but still not toilet trained and lacking in a lot of ways, so I think it’s time for me to stop slacking and start making her life more interesting
  • Be determined in doing up my bullet journal and make it ‘instagram-able’. Nope of my craft or photos is presentable enough in recent years
  • Need to slim down, if not, exercise more, seeing Kpo Kia Papa warded twice this year due to a suspected heart attack is making me worry and panic for him and my family health
  • Need to find back my courage to drive, cannot always depends on Kpo Kia Papa
  • Need to manage my finance better so I will not need to worry in case my contract is not extended, nor be a burden in case I failed in my health
  • Need to be less lazy and more hardworking to do my shopping wisely and meaningful to the receivers
  • Need to patch up my blog so it can be more meaningful to myself and interesting to my readers 🙂

Look forward to 2019 and I am thankful for my meaningful experiences in 2018.

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